The Graceful Human

 For a long time I wasn’t sure what the first thing I would truly write about would be. 

Just me, my computer, google docs and a plethora of experiences, emotions and insight.

I have always loved writing, the idea of writing and being able to put my words on a page and watch how they come to life. Words ( just like music for me)  can place me back into a space in time, unearthing all the feelings I felt in that particular moment, and there’s something I find so beautiful in that.

But to be honest, nowadays writing is not like it used to be. Our AI besties proofread every single thing we do now – from giving life advice to making a business plan, the raw essence of writing without any assistance whatsoever, or even sometimes coming up with our own ideas, is pretty much gone now, or has at least changed on a major major scale.

And this is a very very slippery slope and a verrrry difficult discussion on a whole, because it is such a double-edged-sword. On one hand, it is such a blessing to be able to use technology, especially AI tools. Not only does it make life significantly easier, but when we use it for any writing based purposes, it helps us put our best selves forward; making us structured in our thoughts and grammar.

But on the other hand now…. having our core ideas, our thoughts, fleshed through and corrected by software that is not truly us, it actually changes our individual voices. The concept of being raw and vulnerable changes because we are, yes, speaking our truth, but in a toned, tamed and grammatically correct kind of way.  And you may say now, “ well Alex, this is not a bad thing.”  And of course it isn’t all bad – but  you have to ask;  what happens when we stop trusting our own individuality, our own rawness and our own intelligence?  What happens when we stop believing we can do it on our own and stop trusting our own voice and rationale?

 What happens when we all present ourselves to be polished, structured and so put together? 

Can this have a negative effect on not only how we see ourselves but how others see us, and the inevitable comparisons we make?

Look, im aaaaall about working smarter not harder.  I’m aaaall about putting my best self forward, and i’m all about using software and technology to work for me. But what happens to the beauty in the raw and imperfect self?  Are we overshadowing what actually makes us different and even challenging being comfortable in our true voice?

We check our writing with AI tools because we synonymize polished grammar/ structure/ thoughts with perfection and intelligence, and then we synonymize that perfection ultimately with success.  Do you catch my drift? Do we now see how this can potentially be a very toxic and even dangerous scenario?

And I’m guilty of it, of course I am –  using CHAT GPT to assist me even in a business setting, polishing my work up to be top of the line, presenting it to people like it was my own. On the surface it was me, heck I was the one who wrote it, but not the way that CHAT GPT did – I put all my ideas into CHATGPT and say “hey, make this sound better and fuller.” Honestly it’s like saying I baked a cake from scratch but used a box of cake mix. 

I realised with such reliance on polishing myself and presenting myself…. I had taken away the actual things that make me unique and make my work, my work, and instead of being honest with the capacity in which I’m writing, I relied on software to make it seem like I got it all together.  

Anyways, I couldn’t then, and I can’t now, help but feel disingenuous. How am I to truly write, be creative, be vulnerable, share if I am not being honest with myself?? How can I want to give myself grace, but then avoid the things that I would need to give myself grace on?

I made a promise to myself that this blog begins the journey of me being okay with where I am at, and where I’m trying to go.  Being okay with trying and sharing, in a genuine and natural capacity. Being okay with maybe not always having everything fleshed out, but working through that in conversation and connection.

So….This is my public declaration to you, to myself, that anything I write on these blogs will NEVER ever be AI generated, reviewed or even corrected ( yep…you guys just gonna have to get my often poor sentence structure, sporadic thoughts and interesting grammatical choices).

But seriously, I wanted to lean into this, because I wanted to practice what I preach. I don’t want to make excuses, I don’t want to be fake.

I want you to hear my voice in the way that I write… I want to develop myself as a writer, a woman, a human…through my writing.  In my vulnerability, in my imperfections…with the goal to not only help myself, but do what I had set out to do, and what I feel, deep down in my soul, is my purpose…..aaannnddd then pivoting into the whole purpose behind creating this blog – helping others.

Through sharing, knowledge, openness, and grace, I wanted to start this blog off with this piece to encourage you all that sometimes you have to learn to trust yourself and be okay with not being perfect. Don’t let what you see others do, or the internet, fool you. 

Yes… make yourself better ,  absolutely (so don’t get me wrong, wanting to be perfect or striving for perfection is not a bad thing)… but do it  in your own individual way. In your own voice. It is not one size fit all process. It takes work, openness and yes, failure. It takes time. It takes patience. It takes honesty. 

And most importantly, it takes grace.