The Graceful Human

When I was younger, specifically in my high school days, I was only really concerned about getting homework done and going out with my friends on the weekend.

That was it.

No bills, normal teenage stressors, and no major life stressors.  ( welllllll…. apart from 5+ broken bones and other moments that made my parents stressed – like when i stole the gardener’s machete and hid it under my mattress  )

I developed a deep sense of gratitude for this as I got older.

Now, another thing that I was also blessed with, and most young people are as well,  ( but maybe cursed with actually, now that I’m thinking about it) was this warped concept of time.

Hear me out.

Time, when you are younger, moves very differently from time as an adult.

Yes – hours, minutes and seconds are the same, obviously, but think about it – if you grew up relatively stress free, did you really focus on time? 

Did we truly understand that time was FINITE and LIMITED?

Maybe a little…I mean we did understand some ideas of time – we understood when it was exam time, we knew what days homework was due, and we knew that there was a party on Saturday and we needed an outfit. 

But did we ever truly comprehend what would have been the last time that we had lunch at school with our friends? What about in our families – did we realize what would have been the last time our parents or guardians would have come to watch a concert?

I sure as hell didn’t think about it.

So here is where the juxtaposition of it being a blessing and curse comes into play.

Since we never understood the finiteness of time, we didn’t feel that we had to rush, or stress about anything because we always felt that the was enough time ( and to be honest, we also didn’t always care.)

However, because we never understood finiteness, we ended up ( and not really on purpose ) taking it for granted. “ There will always be another time”, we heard… Or the ever so often “ You will have plenty of time when you are older.”

I use the example of our youth, because I want to show you how this concept of time has been skewed from our early days on this earth. We existed in a world where the true brevity of time meant really nothing in most instances. 

And now we are here, adults. ( well most of us reading are I assume- and if you aren’t as yet, take my advice 🙂 ) We now roughly understand the concept of the finiteness of time. This is especially true if you have lost a loved one.  

As adults now we are faced with another juxtaposition of time – what society tells us to do and what we can actually do.

On one hand you hear, “You only live once” encouraging people to just go for it. We see posts all the time about making the most of life, pursuing all our dreams and passions. We hear “Time is money,” “Time waits for no man,” and the list goes on…

On the other hand, we know the importance of time, but think about all the things we put off for another time or day. Think of all the times you have said ” I’ll do it later.”

So then what’s the solution? Seems like a catch-22. (It isn’t though.)

Well, as adults, yes, we don’t always have time for everything we want. We have responsibilities, family life, jobs, health issues, trauma, and WAY more things to consider as we are getting older. This is the real and straight up truth. It isn’t pretty. Social media tends to glamorize or romanticize the daily struggle, showing people having unrealistic or unsustainable time practices – making it look simple and easy and accessible to all.

THAT isn’t real. 

What IS real, is honoring your own day, your own journey, and creating the space within your day, week, month, to prioritize what it is that you need or want to achieve. What are your goals? What do YOU want to do? Look at your own schedule and figure out where you can make space to do things on your own timeline. You have to be honest with yourself in this stage too – are you really busy or can you just not bother?

I would encourage you to not fall into the trap of thinking you have time. You don’t.

Time is finite. Time is precious. You don’t know how long you will be healthy. You don’t know when would be the last day you are going to spend with your family or friends. 

 Life doesn’t play out like a movie, nor is it always fair.

 Trust me when I say, don’t take those things for granted.

The answer isn’t to get rid of the concept of time altogether. Not at all.  You have to both embrace the finiteness, and respect your own journey. 

Make the plans you keep putting off, give that friend a call, try that new hairstyle, go eat at that restaurant. Learn to be okay with trying new things, and trying things that you may not be good at.

Choose to make time for things you want to achieve or do, because if you don’t, life will choose for you.

And above all, make the time to love your family, and most importantly, yourself. Honor your own timeline, and your own journey, and handle yourself with grace.

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I’d love to hear from you! What topics would you like me to explore next? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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